Recently, on the Facebook Go-Givers Sell More “Like” page, I posted the following paraphrase from the book:

Perhaps the greatest secret of ultra-successful selling is understanding: “It’s not about you — it’s about them.”

One of the reader responses was from Michael Fisher, who wrote:

You got that right.

I learned this a long time ago from an incredibly successful salesman in Manhattan. I used to watch him walk the halls of all these companies and stop people and ask them “How’s your wife Karen doing? Did she enjoy her trip back home?”

It was incredible – not only for the number of people he knew, but also the details he knew about them – and asked about them. They loved him because he showed a sincere interest in them.

He also happened to make a bunch of money in the process. We went into these companies competing against some of the largest companies in our industry and he won the contract in a huge majority of the cases. If only we could bottle that… Wait, you just did – Thank you Bob Burg and John David Mann!”

I love what Michael wrote. And, the thing is, this is not rare. These stories abound. Please keep in mind that the key regarding the mega-success of the salesman Michael referred to was his sincerity. He wasn’t trying to manipulate these people; he truly cared about them … and they knew it!

As Sam told Joe in the first book, “All things being equal, people will do business with and refer business to those people they know, like and trust.” And there’s no better, quicker or more effective way to elicit those feelings toward you in others than by genuinely focusing on them.

Thank you, Michael, for sharing that terrific example.

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In Part 1 we looked at my favorite local restaurant, Sala Thai, and saw how its amazing staff fulfilled the concept of excellence in a very extraordinary way. It wasn’t only the extremely tasty cuisine; it was also the teamwork and sense of unity that helped to create the wonderful dining experience.

Helped to create it, but that was certainly not all of it. As you’ll recall, in Go-Givers Sell More, John and I cite four other aspects of value beside excellence: consistency, attention, empathy, and appreciation.

How does Sala Thai fulfill those? Let’s take a look.

Consistency: I can’t tell you how many times I’ve eaten there since they opened nearly ten years ago. I can tell you I’ve never had a meal that was one bit less than their usual very high standard. Other diners agree. And in a world filled with inconsistency, the assurance of predictable excellence accounts for an enormous perception of value.

Attention: There are three ways in which they display exquisite attention to detail.

1. The waitstaff seem to know exactly when you need them to appear and they are there, practically immediately. Yet they also allow you the privacy you want.

2. Um, the owner, manages to visit every table where she remembers every person individually and makes every group feel as though they are her favorite (of course…we really are)

3. The meal includes exactly what you ask for. Their attention to this detail is astounding when considering how many meals they serve in any one day or evening.

Empathy: At 87, my once extremely athletic Dad (while still in terrific general health, thank G-d) doesn’t move around like he used to. At times he walks very slowly and with difficulty. Whenever Um notices this, she lovingly and caringly walks with us to the door and has even helped me walk Dad to the car. It’s not necessary, because he can do it himself and, with Mom’s and my help, it’s a sure thing. But she does it anyway. I think it’s her way of telling us she loves us. It comes from her heart. Empathy in its truest form.

Appreciation: Yes, they always include an additional appetizer. And they usually bring a dessert, both simply as a way of saying thank you for being their customer and friend. But it’s more than that. From the way they greet their guests upon entering the restaurant to the way they say goodbye and thank you, they radiate appreciation.

Indeed, Ernesto Iafrate, our über-successful hotdog stand owner-turned-restaurateur-turned real estate magnate, would be proud of Um and the team at Sala Thai.

John’s and my question to you is this: “How can you (or how do you already) apply those five areas of value to your business?” We’d love you to include your thoughts in the comment section, or better yet, submit your personal success stories to our Go-Giver Scrapbook.

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In The Go-Giver, Ernesto Iafrate’s Italian-American Cafe was the example of an extremely successful restaurant, where the delicious cuisine was exceeded only by the ultimate dining experience.

In Go-Givers Sell More, within our discussion on the five aspects of Value — excellence, consistency, attention, empathy, and appreciation — John related the example of a restaurant where he and his lovely wife, Ana, used to go that had pretty good food … sometimes. And, sometimes it did not. The lack of consistency was unsettling enough that they instead now travel twice as far down the road to eat at a similar restaurant that is in fact consistently good.

Earlier today I was reading a new book by my friend, Les McKeon entitled Predictable Success. He made the following point about companies that are in the mode of business suggested by the book’s title:

“Watching the interaction of the different functional groups of [these sorts of organizations] is rather like watching a highly trained relay team hand the baton from one runner to the next: They can do it seamlessly, over and over again, at high speed, and without looking back.”

And, this reminded me — literally, as you’ll see in a moment — of my favorite restaurant where I live in Jupiter, Florida: Sala Thai.

Sala Thai is owned by a sweet and hard-working immigrant family from Thailand who personify the type of value Ernesto talked about in the story. Let’s look at it by way of the five areas or aspects of value mentioned earlier (excellence, consistency, attention, empathy, and appreciation), starting with excellence.

There is just no substitute for  excellence, is there? Sala Thai has truly excellent food, and an amazing staff that simply does it right. They serve superbly well, not only as individuals but also as part of a cohesive unit.

Reading Les’s statement brought back a memory from about a month ago, when I was at Sala Thai and they were slammed with customers. They were moving swiftly, but also smoothly — their energy was both fluid and calm.

At one point, Um’s cellphone (the main phone customers were calling for pickups and deliveries) went off while she was in the midst of serving. At the sound of the ring, one of the waiters suddenly and gracefully switched direction, as though part of a ritual rehearsed endlessly to perfection, putting another guest’s plate down and taking the cell-phone handoff as he headed to the main register to take the order. And Um was amazing: she discreetly slipped the phone out of her back pocket and gently handed it to him in a way that would have made an Olympic relay team or even the Flying Wallendas proud.

This is exactly what Les is talking about when he describes an excellent team as being like a relay team handing off the baton — only in this case it wasn’t a metaphor: they really were handing off the baton!

In Part 2, we’ll look at the other four aspects of value embodied by this very successful restaurant.

Until then, I’m off to enjoy an order of “Bob Sizzlin’” (yes, they know what I like and they’ve even named the plate for me when I visit) and some Chicken Padthai.

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In the very first chapter of Go-Givers Sell More, John and I discuss empathy as being one of five ways value can be added to another person’s life. Empathy simply means being able to put yourself in the other person’s shoes: to feel what they’re feeling, as best you can.

A client of mine, the Americas Service business of GE Healthcare, beautifully expresses this idea in one of their written Guiding Principles: “We Make It Personal.” And I have to say, in all my years in business I’ve seen fewer examples of this concept as powerful as the following story, from Shawn Bailey, a field engineer there. This is from a letter submitted by AnnaMarie Blaire, RT (R) MR, from Harrisburg Hospital/Pinnacle Healthsystem:

“I just wanted to bring to your attention an outstanding job by Shawn Bailey.

“We were having intermittent machine issues where the scanner would go down during a case. These intermittent issues are the frustrating ones, for both technologists and engineers. Shawn had corrected some issues and was pretty sure the problem was fixed, but he wanted to keep an eye on the problem.

“We were asked to scan a 4-year-old under sedation ASAP, and we were very concerned the problem would occur again. We could not afford to have the scanner go down with a sedated child on the table. Shawn assured us he would stay on site and be ready if we had any problems.

“The child arrived and it was clear that she was very scared, as were her parents, especially, awaiting the outcome of the scan.

“Shawn left the department and soon returned — with a teddy bear he had purchased at the gift shop. He brought a smile to the child’s face, as well as the faces of the parents and technologists. She clung to the bear as she was put to sleep.

“The scan went off without a problem. We were all touched by Shawn’s care and concern for the family and his reassurance to us that he would be there if we had any machine problems. The gesture will always be remembered by the staff and showed us that GE CARES.”

I’ve read this letter from stage several times now, and each time there have been tears from several audience members (and perhaps a few from the presenter).

Can you imagine the fear that little girl must have had, and the fright of her parents? Not to mention their distress at the fear their daughter was going through?

I think we all can, to a certain degree. I also think that Shawn Bailey not only felt it, he did something about it—and that was what made all the difference. By having empathy, and by communicating that empathy through action, he made it personal.

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Many years ago, a brilliant young visionary stirred audiences by telling them, “You can have everything in life you want — if you will just help enough other people get what they want.”

Through the decades, these twenty words have been repeated so often, and by so many people, that they have become elevated to iconic status. They are the battle cry for all those drawn to add great value to their world while living a life of abundance.

They were first spoken, of course, by the legendary Zig Ziglar.

It’s difficult to for me to imagine a single sentence that could serve as a greater example and finer embodiment of the Go-Giver philosophy.

It is equally difficult to imagine a bigger thrill for John and me than having the opportunity to present Mr. Ziglar with the First Annual Go-Giver Lifetime Achievement Award.

We had the extreme honor of doing exactly that last Friday, April 23, at Thom Scott’s and my Fourth Annual Extreme Business Makeovers event in Orlando, Forida.

Halfway through Zig’s appearance, as he sat between his lovely wife, Jean (“The Redhead”) and his son, Tom (CEO of Ziglar), John came up on stage and together we presented the 83-year-old legend with an engraved crystal bowl … along with our extreme thanks.

Zig Ziglar: a great man, a true Go-Giver!

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There are few things that thrill John and me more than to know that people are not only prospering by utilizing The Five Laws from The Go-Giver and Go-Givers Sell More, but also being recognized for it.

That’s why we created The Go-Giver Award, and we often hear stories about people who have given an Award to someone else, or received one themselves.

Very rarely, however, do we read about it being presented publicly and then followed by an article — but that is exactly what happened last week.

My friend Kevin Tacher presented another friend, Margie Casey (you may remember reading about them last year over at my Burg.com blog), with the Award while I was in attendence speaking that night.

What a thrill … I’m pretty sure even more for me than for Margie!

If you’d like, you can read the full story here.

Margie and Kevin both truly embody the spirit of a Go-Giver. Congratulations, Margie. You ROCK!

P.S. Whenever a similar event takes place involving you and someone to whom you present the award, please let us know — we’d love to share the news.

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”But, I thought you were a Go-Giver!”

Expect to hear this question from time to time after you’ve denied a request to someone who may have never even read the book but has heard you discussing it.

They’ve asked you to do anything from serving on a committee, to donating time and/or money to a cause, to providing them with an endorsement or introduction, to … to … well, you get the picture. Each of these are terrific, when warranted and appropriate. However, in this case, for whatever reason you have determined, it wouldn’t be the correct action for you to take.

In the previous post, we discussed the false premise that being a Go-Giver means you have to give away your product or service for free and have absolutely no concern for making a profit.

This time, we’ll look at the equally invalid idea that being a Go-Giver means acting contrary to your own interests, if doing so entails either a break from your personal value system or having to be some kind of self-sacrificing martyr in order to do another’s will. In other words, that you must say yes upon fear of being guilted.

It absolutely does not mean that!

Please don’t misunderstand. Doing for others is wonderful, even at times doing something you would rather not do. And so long as it’s a choice you are making of your own free will, and it aligns with your personal value system and sense of right and wrong, that’s fine.

That’s not necessarily being a Go-Giver, and it’s not not being a Go-Giver, either. It just is what it is: nice, kind and generous … and the world certainly needs more of that.

But if, in order to be more productive, or to refrain from doing something that would violate your sense of what’s right, or even just to maintain your sanity or for any other reason, you feel you must say no to someone’s request, that’s okay. You can do that without fear of not being a Go-Giver.

The person who challenges you on your “no” by insinuating otherwise might not even necessarily be a manipulative person. He or she simply might not understand. You have the opportunity to educate them in a way that is of benefit to both of you.

Oh, and while a Go-Giver does have to say no sometimes (often regretfully so), they also know that how you say it can make all the difference in the world to the other person’s feelings. Saying no with tact, kindness and class certainly is an attribute of a Go-Giver.

And when saying no, they do so without a feeling of guilt. (Okay, maybe just a bit because … let’s face it, it’s natural to want to please others).

Following the Five Laws as defined in the book will add great value to your life and the lives of others around you. At the same time, it”s important to keep in mind what being a Go-Giver really is — and just as importantly, what it isn’t.

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John and I are always delighted to receive the many emails from readers who share with us how utilizing the Five Laws of Stratospheric Success has helped them add value to the lives of others, and created more prosperity for themselves and their loved ones, as well.

Of course, while a Go-Giver doesn’t “give to get” but “gives to give,” they also know that doing this creates a benevolent context for success; the powerful seeds of goodwill they’ve cultivated will come back to them many times over, in the form of direct business and referrals.

Yet we also receive letters that, while well-intended, proceed from a false premise, and a potentially dangerous one at that:

“Being a Go-Giver means giving yourself and your product or service away for free, without any concern for making a profit.”

Folks, it absolutely does not mean that!

There’s a time and place to give things away for free. Sometimes, it’s a smart marketing strategy: give people a sample, and they’ll be in a better position to decide if they want to buy. (John and I provide a free download of Chapter 1 of each of our books for just that reason.)

That’s not being a Go-Giver, and it’s not not being a Go-Giver. It just is what it is.

Being a Go-Giver, in and of itself, has nothing to do with giving things away for free.

Being a Go-Giver means you tap into the Five Laws shared in the book. You provide more in value than you take in payment; you touch many lives with that value; you put other people’s interests first; you operate from a foundation of authenticity; and you allow yourself to receive.

That last one – receiving – is often the point in all this that gets forgotten.

A Twitter friend wrote me the other day saying that a customer of hers sent her a nasty email complaining that she was charging too much for her product. My friend had decided that, “in the Go-Giver spirit,” she would not charge the person at all.

“DON’T YOU DARE DO THAT!…”

… is what I wanted to write back, but I didn’t. I was a bit gentler and tactful. I explained that perhaps she was confusing being a Go-Giver with being a doormat or whipping post.

I asked if, with her normal price, she was providing significantly more in value than what she was charging, while still making a significant profit. She said, “Yes, absolutely.”

In that case, I suggested, she was already being a Go-Giver. She simply needed to effectively communicate that value to her customer. She agreed, and that’s exactly what she did.

Another case in point: Jennifer Ledbetter, aka PotPieGirl, recently promoted our book on her affiliate marketing site, and one of her readers upbraided her for including an affiliate link, as if there were something somehow wrong with her making a profit — when earning a profit through affiliate marketing is the whole point of her site!

It can be so easy to fall into the trap of this false dilemma (what we call in the new book a “treacherous dichotomy”) that says you are either in business to serve others or you’re in it for the money.

As if one excluded the other. It doesn’t — no more than giving excludes receiving.

Please don’t buy into this treacherous dichotomy, this guilt-tripped dualism. It’s a bad sale, and enough people are probably trying to sell you on it already — don’t do it to yourself.

In my next post, we’ll look at a second false premise regarding the term Go-Giver and how it can result in people trying to guilt you into living very unproductively. And we’ll discuss the solution, as well.

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With the big launch of Go-Givers Sell More less than three weeks away, the timing is perfect for the completion of our new website.

Hats off to Kathy Zader of Zoom Strategies who did a MAGNIFICENT job creating the site, putting it together, and going back-and-forth with us (and, when I say “us” I really mean, John, who was involved with the site creation from the “Give-Go”) until it was “jes’ right.”

So, feel free to visit www.GoGiversSellMore.com. You’ll see a place where you can download Chapter One of the new book, as well as links to The Go-Giver Award, The Go-Giver Scrapbook, and other fun places where our Go-Giver Community of friends and Ambassadors can visit, hang out, and share their thoughts with us.

This site isn’t just John’s and mine. It’s all of ours. And, we hope you enjoy it.

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The many emails John and I have received over the two years that The Go-Giver has been in print have been a huge inspiration to us. In fact, we have shared many of your stories during media interviews, from stage, and even (a few dozen of them) in our soon-to-be released book, Go-Givers Sell More.

We love sharing stories about people who, after reading The Go-Giver, decided to shift their focus from getting to giving, constantly and consistently adding value to the lives of others, and experienced a significant increase in their own personal success — both financially and, often, in other ways as well.

We love these emails — and we invite you to keep ’em coming.

In fact, we’ve created an online forum for the exclusive purpose of sharing those stories with others.

So we invite you to let us and the entire Go-Giver community know about how utilizing the Five Laws of The Go-Giver has made a difference for you.

On January 21 (next Thursday) we are officially launching the Go-Giver Scrapbook, a new web page devoted to highlighting your stories about how utilizing the Five Laws of Stratospheric Success has made a difference in your relationships, your business, your organization, your life.

John and Kathy have been working diligently on creating the perfect design for this new site, and we’d love to see your story up there when it launches!

The Scrapbook will be organized by category, depending on which of the Laws and what sort of life circumstance your story embodies: we’ll have one category for each law, as well as categories for Business, Family, Relationships, Organizations, and more. (And one story may be tagged under more than one category.)

Imagine your own story empowering and encouraging thousands of other people to apply these laws in their own lives! Talk about creating the proverbial bigger pie.

If you have a story you’d like to submit, just click the “Contact” button above and send it to either one of us by email.

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